Brynleigh is a very busy eight-month-old.

Here she is jumping in her Jumperoo – it is her favorite activity as of late, and now anytime we put her in her Exersaucer she tries to jump…and then fusses when she can’t.  I think the Exersaucer’s days are numbered!

Last night I consulted a parenting book from the American Academy of Pediatrics to see if I could find out what sorts of toys are appropriate for Brynleigh at this developmental stage.  One of the items on the list was “balls of all kinds.”  So, during our weekly shopping trip this morning, Ben and I purchased some cute little chime balls as well as a stacking toy (also on the list).  Here she is playing with the balls.  (P.S. Enjoy the hair bow for the 49 seconds it’s on screen…that’s as girly as we get in this house!)

Hope you all have a great week!

Miss Brynleigh is really growing up! Watch as she goes after not one, but two bunnies.

It has been awhile since my last post (January 29, hereby known as Brynleigh’s birthday), so I thought I would fill y’all in (okay, Sarah talked me into it).

I have been very busy with work – for those that don’t know, I used to be a manager for WaMu. My store was shut down at the end of February and I moved into another bank down the parking lot (Chase). We officially converted at the end of July which left me without a bank, or people, to manage. To keep it short, I am “training” now which involves driving all over DFW, mainly FW, helping other bankers out.  Boring, I know.

Outside of work, I have also been busy with our company and seeing it grow (hopefully someday I can do just this). Today gold hit an all-time high and that’s great news for my clients. You can learn more at www.newgoldira.com Tell your friends and family

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so instead of writing about Brynleigh – I have to get up early and drive 3 hours tomorrow – here are some recent pics..

A couple of weeks ago, I plopped Brynleigh in her dad’s chair in the office and she looked pretty pleased with herself.  I took the opportunity to snap a few photos and thought I’d share them with you. 

She's so grown up!

Sweet little smile!

In other news, I am back at school full-time.  Things are hectic, but I am enjoying being at work again.  Brynleigh is doing well at daycare, and that definitely makes it easier to be away from her all day.

Much to do today!

Instead of just uploading photos today, I thought I’d go ahead and post some recent videos.

Here is Miss B. enjoying some cereal.

Here she is playing in her Exersaucer.  She loves to play with the crackly leaves on the tree.  When you pull them, they say things like, “Where’s Daddy?”

She really likes to chew on the little teething toys on the Exersaucer.

And finally, here is a video of Miss Brynleigh sitting up on her own.  She is really starting to get the hang of it!

Enjoy your weekend!

A couple of weeks ago, Brynleigh and I had a visit from our friend Claire.  Claire and I taught together during the 2007-2008 school year.  Last summer, she moved to North Carolina to be closer to her fiance; they got married in November!  Claire has had a very exciting year – seriously, it’s been full of non-stop action – and I am excited to see what she does in California next year.

Claire brought a little surprise with her: an ADORABLE baby blanket that she made for Brynleigh.  That’s right – she made it with her own two hands.  It is awesome, and my favorite part is that there is absolutely NOTHING “baby” about it.  It’s fun, it’s fresh, and I know Brynleigh is going to enjoy it for years to come.

It's reversible, too!

Thank you, Claire, for such a beautiful gift!

Last Friday, Brynleigh and I went to Angela’s house to see her and Brynleigh’s friend Dylan.  As a bonus, our friend Darren was there, too, along with his wife and one of their little girls.  Darren is leaving for Kenya today; he’s going to spend two weeks with Made in the Streets at their property outside Nairobi.  You can keep up with his adventures on his website.  While you’re there, check out some of his pictures from his trip to Kenya last year – you won’t be disappointed!

While we were at Dylan’s house, Brynleigh took his little Exersaucer for a test drive.  She had so much fun that Ben and I went out and purchased one for her over the weekend.  Here are some cute pictures I took of her playing in it.

Look how cute I am!

WHAT?!

I'm not sure I like where this is going, lady...

Monday held another first: cereal.  Brynleigh spent last weekend wanting to eat every four hours at night.  It was not fun for Ben and me!  I called her doctor first thing Monday morning to make sure it was okay to start her on cereal.  (I knew it would be fine; I think I needed the approval for myself more than anything else.)  She only managed about 12 bites that first night before I had to pour the rest of it in a bottle for her to finish, but last night she ate the entire bowl with the spoon!  She has already figured out how to open her mouth before each bite, and she makes cute little “MMMM…MMMM…MMMM” sounds while she eats.

I see my cereal and I am excited to try it!

Yummy!

On Tuesday, I took Brynleigh to a local imaging center to have her hips x-rayed.  It seems the right one pops in and out of the socket pretty easily, so her pediatrician ordered the x-rays to make sure that the joint is formed properly.  They called me with the results yesterday; thankfully, everything looks normal!

Who knew?!

When I wrote my post yesterday, I had no idea it would elicit so many reactions!  I have a few things I’d like to say.

Marcia – Thank you for your insight.  Yes, communication was the big issue.  It is something that Ben and I are trying to become really good at.  I especially liked what you said about me not being the reason behind my parents’ dissolution of  something that was in place before I was born.  That was a new way for me to look at it, and I am enjoying dissecting it in my mind.

Tammy – Thanks for sharing your story; I had no idea.  You are right that unresolved issues continue to wreak havoc no matter who we’re with.  A change of “scenery” does not change our character.

Lisa – The Billy Ray Cyrus of “Achy Breaky Heart” fame continues to haunt me in his latest role as Miley Cyrus’ father.  Pizza night lives on.  Thank you for your prayers.

Jason – It seems the student has become the teacher.  You are correct: my marriage is mine, and I cannot allow the outcome of others’ marriages to dictate the outcome of mine.  Thanks for the reminder.

Mrs. Pat – Such kind words!  I am so appreciative of your prayers.  Please tell Mr. Phil “hello” for me; for 23 years, I’ve thought of him everytime I’ve seen a fire truck in Irving.  I hope you’re both well.  (OH!  And CONGRATULATIONS on becoming grandparents to baby Zoe!  She is so sweet!!)

Daniel – We love you, too!  I hope that when things are worse, poor, and sick, we’ll be an example to others.

Suzanne – It makes me feel better to know that a completely sane person such as yourself struggles with some of the same issues that I do.  It’s easy for me to tell you that it’s not your fault; I hope that someday both of us are able to look at ourselves in the mirror, say the same thing, and recognize it as truth.

Okay, onward!  I have a few random things I need to get out.

• Huge corporate shout-out to OxiClean and Tide for getting the baby’s laundry clean – every time – with minimal effort on my part.  Mom taught me that there are some things you just don’t skimp on; so far, my list includes: laundry detergent, toilet paper, and instant oatmeal (Always Quaker.  Always.).
• Brynleigh and I have been dancing around the house today to the musical stylings of one Mr. Michael Jackson.  The King of Pop lives on in the Seifipour household!
• My KitchenAid mixer arrived today.  It’s pistachio green.  It’s so cool I’m almost jealous of myself.
• In summertime, hot food is my enemy.  I could eat cold salads and fruit all day long.  I am hoping this translates into some weight loss, but we’ll see.  I still heart carbs, much to Ben’s chagrin.

That’s all for the moment.  Have a great weekend!

Note: I am not sure that either of my parents reads this with any sort of regularity, but just in case one (or both) decides to take a look at it, I need to let them know up front that it is not meant to be hurtful, and probably none of it comes as a surprise anyway.

For those of you who don’t know, my parents split up last year after 29 and a half years of marriage.  Since that time, it seems like Ben and I have been inundated with news concerning couples we know who are struggling.  Each of these conversations hurts my heart a little bit more than the one before, and I think I reached my breaking point on Monday night.

Did you hear about Jon and Kate?  I knew going into it that the news wasn’t likely to be good, but I hoped and hoped and hoped they would announce to the world that they were shutting down production to focus on saving their marriage.  Unfortunately, my fears were confirmed when they announced they were separating.

When the episode ended and it was time to go to bed, I let the dog out and then broke down crying in the kitchen.  I’m hoping that if I write some of my thoughts out, maybe I’ll be able to sort through my feelings…and maybe someone somewhere will take something good away from this.

Confession: I am terrified of divorce.

In the past, I was aware of the concept of divorce, but now that I’ve actually seen one up close, I am fearful that it will happen to me.  Generally speaking, people don’t go into a marriage with divorce as a planned outcome.  I think in most cases, it’s something that happens gradually over an extended period of time.  Instead of putting their spouse’s needs first, people shift the focus to themselves.  Sometimes it’s justified; sometimes it’s a matter of survival.  The problem comes when the root issues are not identified and dealt with openly and by both parties.  It’s not overnight, but after some time it begins to take its toll and then one day a spouse decides they just can’t do it anymore and they want out.

The thing that scares me is the gradual progression.  I’m afraid I won’t notice and one day I’ll wake up and Ben will be gone.  This, in a nutshell, is what I experienced with my parents.  One day everything was fine.  The next day, one of them left and never came home.  For nearly everyone involved, this was our first clue that things were not okay.  In fact, I’d go so far as to say that this is true for everyone involved except the other spouse – whom I honestly don’t believe had any idea that the situation was that grave at the time.  (Please note that I am not exempting this person from their share of responsibility; I am just saying that I don’t think the communication was there prior to that day and that this person was as surprised as the rest of us.)

Confession: I know that it will get easier as time goes on, but I worry this is going to be something that I deal with for the rest of my life.

Perhaps I should see someone about this, because the last thing I want is for fear resulting from my parents’ divorce to destroy my own marriage.

Confession: I will spend a good portion of the rest of my life battling the thought that on some level, it is my fault.

In my head, I know it’s not.  In my heart, I fear it is.  It doesn’t matter that my parents have reassured me it’s not my fault; I’ll always wonder what the outcome would have been if I hadn’t spent my childhood teasing one of them about “that kid from high school with the funny name” (because now they are dating that person – did I cause that?) and if I’d mentioned some issues that I saw them dealing with.  I know that it wasn’t any of my business to say something, but what if I had?  I don’t think anyone else called their attention to it…what if I had?  Would they have worked on it?  Would they have been happier?  Would they still be married?

I feel like I was lackadaisical because – and this is important to note for those of you who are having a hard time understanding why this is difficult for me – I grew up in a house where “divorce is not an option.”  For 27 and a half years of my life, I’d been told that it was something I never had to worry about.  It is devastating to a child of any age to hear statements like this and then witness a complete about-face.

I have heard (as I alluded to above) that there are some people who feel that enough time has passed and that at this point, I just need to get over it.  I’d like to respectfully disagree, and here are some reasons why.

1. Please remember that this all came as quite a shock to me, and despite promises to take things very slowly, to consider all possible outcomes, and to not make decisions about divorcing right away, my parents went from married (by all appearances happily) to divorced in a span of less than six months.  In retrospect, I have come to believe that minds were made up from the beginning (or what I perceived as the beginning); it’s just the rest of us weren’t filled in until the end.

2. Please also remember that you got what you wanted – for free – while I paid the price and was left with nothing.  It is going to take me some time to be able to deal with this.  (And you are not allowed to specify what that time period should be.  I have to figure that out on my own.)

3. Please understand that the current situation runs contrary to everything I was taught growing up in my parents’ home.  I hold these values because they were the values I was raised to have.  I do not appreciate you showing such hostility toward something that was instilled in me by the very person(s) you admire.

4. Part of the reason I continue to struggle with this is that – again, according to the values with which I was raised – I know that I am not the only one affected by this decision; it is something that my daughter will also have to deal with – and her child(ren) as well.  In my mind, it takes a lot of selfishness to continue to justify this.

Confession: I am committed to my husband and to our marriage.

I know the statistics.  I don’t want to be one.  A couple we know told us about a discussion they had early on in their marriage when they were having some problems:

We can be married and happy or we can be married and miserable, but either way, we’re going to be married.  We might as well choose to be happy.

That, I feel, is the bottom line.  Ben and I are choosing to be happy.  Before we were married, we made the commitment to each other that if there is ever an issue we could not solve between the two of us, we’d seek outside help.  And, more importantly, we gave each other permission to do so.  In the heat of the moment, it is normal to feel like you don’t need help and you can do it on your own, especially when bitterness and resentment are involved.  Ben and I have given each other permission to go over each other’s head to get outside help if we feel it is necessary – and we’ve actually done it a couple of times with great success.

Are there going to be hard times?  You can bet on it.  But I think I need to spend less time worrying about what could go wrong and start focusing on what I can do right.  I can put my husband first.  I can choose to love him and I can treat him with courtesy and respect.  I can offer to pick up a drink for him from Sonic every time I go even though I know he will never take me up on it because there might be one time when he does, and I don’t ever want him to miss out on getting what he wants because I made an assumption instead of asking him.

It’s the little things.  If you don’t have the little things, you can’t expect to have something great.  I want to have something great.