Maternal Instinct

Quick question today.

When does the so-called “maternal instinct” kick in? Actually, maybe a better question is, What does it feel like?

For me, motherhood feels like a lot of rules and hard work with some cool chronos moments sprinkled here and there, but mostly just hard, never-ending work. I love Miss B fiercely, but I don’t ever have those “Mama Bear” urges or nesting instincts or crazy-awesome sparks of let’s-fingerpaint-all-day creativity or the “I just can’t stop staring in wonder at my child” kind of feelings. I don’t often feel very nurturing, and I definitely do NOT feel that I was “born to be a mother.”

On the other hand, I do have a deep desire to take care of her – to snuggle and comfort her when she’s sick, to hold her when she’s having a bad day or when she’s overly tired and everything is going “wrong” for her. I hurt when she hurts and I feel great when she feels great. I get concerned when she doesn’t sleep or eat well, and I search doggedly for a cause and a solution. I make sure we always have Little Bunny and Mommy’s Blanket with us because I don’t want her little heart to suffer the pain of missing a beloved object.

Is that normal? Am I totally missing the point? Should I be feeling those other things, too? Am I doing okay with this? Am I anywhere near the “passing” mark on the Pass/Fail Scale of Motherhood, or am I failing miserably?

How am I supposed to feel about this whole thing?