Mother’s Day

Last summer, Ben and I hosted a Japanese high school student in our home as part of a program designed to bring some much-needed relief to students living in the region affected by last year’s devastating earthquake and tsunami. It was only for three weeks, but when we put her on the plane to fly back to Japan, I felt like a piece of my own heart was torn from my chest. Risa’s name is written on my heart in permanent marker.

On Holidays and “Holidays”

Last night, I saw a commercial for a large chain of party stores advertising a big St. Patrick’s Day sale. They claim they have the best St. Patrick’s Day costumes.

Let me say that again.

They claim they have the best St. Patrick’s Day costumes.

Did I miss something? When did all this nonsense become normal?

A couple of years ago, Easter became a gift-giving holiday (beyond the traditional baskets for the kids). For the last few years, I’ve watched more and more people start to consider Halloween as a day to get together with their families. Now we’re marketing St. Patrick’s Day costumes???

Why are we making such a big deal out of this? Are we, as a nation, so collectively bummed out that we need to turn March 17 into Second Halloween? (And don’t get me started on actual Halloween, which I think is about the dumbest day on the calendar.)

I am so confused.

What are your thoughts? Can you fill me in? What’s going on?

Awkward Family Photos

Have you guys seen Awkward Family Photos? It’s this website that features – you guessed it – awkward family photos. It cracks me up pretty regularly.

Anyway, I was going through some pictures today (Ben’s taking a digital frame to work and I was in charge of loading photos on it) and I came across a lot of unfortunate photos of the two of us. They’re not quite the doozies you’ll find on the AFP site, but some of them are pretty unflattering.

Here’s one for you to enjoy!

Do-it-yourself Christmas card, 2005. This one didn't make the cut.

Remember

Valentine’s Day

Image via Wikipedia

As previously mentioned, Ben and I don’t “do” Valentine’s Day. However, I know that’s not the norm, so I thought I’d write about something pertaining to relationships today – marriage in particular.

And, I thought I’d write something that may be a little controversial. You know, because I’m snarky that way.

So, let’s talk bank accounts.

I believe it’s important for married couples to have a joint bank account.

Why?

Because I believe that maintaining separate bank accounts is actually a manifestation of a much bigger issue: a lack of trust in the marriage.

It’s like saying, “Hey, I want to move in with you and enjoy all the perks of being married, but keep your hands off my money. I’m not entirely sure you won’t clean it out and leave me high and dry.”

So you divide up the bills like roommates do.

That’s okay…if all you want out of marriage is a roommate.

I guess my point is, if you don’t have trust in your marriage, then you don’t have much of a marriage. Relationships are built on a foundation of trust.

Do you trust your spouse or don’t you? If you do, then why not allow them access to every part of your life? If you don’t, you need to figure out why, and if you want your marriage to work and not end in divorce, then you need to get outside help. There’s no shame in it. If you’re stuck on a huge project at work, you ask for help, don’t you? You don’t just quit working on it and let your boss down, right? Marriage is so much more intricate than any work project. Why do we just expect things to magically work themselves out between spouses?

Marriages take a lot of work. It’s really hard, but if you’re willing to do it, it’s also really fulfilling. If you think your marriage suffers from a lack of trust, then find a counselor you both feel comfortable with, and work it out. It’s worth it.

Cooking

Brynleigh’s Grandmother (Sarah’s mom) has been an elementary school teacher/administrator for…oh, it must be getting close to 30 years. She’s amazing with kids – a seemingly limitless supply of energy and creative activity ideas.

We went to visit Grandmother over the Christmas holidays, and one morning, Ben and I got up to find Miss B with her serious face on, hard at work in the kitchen, “cooking” like grownups do. Grandmother had pulled a step stool right up to the counter, and Brynleigh was just tall enough to stand on the top step and pour various herbs and powdery substances into a bowl before mixing them with a big wooden spoon.

If we’d eaten it, I’m sure the flour/baking soda/Chinese five spice concoction would have been delicious. 🙂

Kitchen

For Christmas this year, Ben and I got Brynleigh a couple of Sandra Boynton books (this one and this one), a DVD of her favorite “movie”, and a play kitchen.  Since we traveled on Christmas Day, we decided to give her the kitchen on Christmas Eve while Ben was home for lunch so that she’d have a chance to play with it before we left town.

Here she is seeing her kitchen for the first time.

Please excuse the camera movement midway through; Ben didn’t realize it wouldn’t automatically adjust its layout!

Air Travel Tips

Concourse B at Denver International Airport. Image via Wikipedia

Our little family traveled to Denver over the holidays and had such a great airport experience on the way back that we thought we’d share some of our favorite air travel tips.  I’ve written them with specific hints for parents of small children, but the tips can really apply to anyone.

1. Do as much as possible online ahead of time. We flew United Airlines this time, and they let us check in up to 24 hours before our flight.  That’s pretty much the industry standard nowadays, but some make you do the check in process in person when you’re traveling with a lap (non-ticketed, free until age two) child.  United not only let us check in, but also let us pay for our bags – and offered a discount for prepaying them online – and gave us the option to use mobile boarding passes instead of printing them out.  We loved that we were able to access our boarding passes on our phones and didn’t have to keep up with paper copies.
2. Curbside check-in is the way to go. When we got to Denver International yesterday morning, it was something like 3 degrees outside (-3 with the windchill factor).  We ran inside and discovered that the check-in line was super long – especially considering all we needed to do was drop off our bags, since we’d already checked in online – so we went back outside to the guys at the curbside check-in desk.  They took a quick look at my ID and sent me back inside with Brynleigh to get us out of the cold.  Ben joined us less than a minute later.  He tipped the guy $5 – we figured a couple of bucks a bag, plus a little extra because it was so cold.  It would have taken us at least 45 minutes to get through the “real” line inside, but doing curbside took all of 90 seconds.  It was like buying the “fast pass” at a theme park.  Not having to try to keep Brynleigh entertained in a line was worth way more than $5.  And because we’d prepaid our bags at the discounted rate, even with the tip, we still saved money.
3. Stretch those little legs! Before our trip to Denver in September, I took Brynleigh to Target and let her choose a backpack/harness.  While I waited at the gate with our stuff, Ben took Miss B on a stroll through the airport before boarding our flight.  We love the harness because it provides her a measure of independence – she loves not having to hold our hands! – but it gives us peace of mind knowing that it would be much more difficult for her to get lost or “stolen” while she’s wearing it.
4. On-board entertainment.  I always pack plenty of snacks, both sweet and savory, along with some milk or juice (they’ll let you take a sippy cup through security; just allow an extra minute or so for the secondary test they have to do on it if there’s liquid inside).  Brynleigh’s favorite stuffed animal, Bunny, goes with us everywhere we go, and I try to bring a favorite book and a tiny toy or two in my purse.  This time, we also went equipped with a portable DVD player, some toddler-sized headphones (highly recommended!), and a favorite video: The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland.

I can’t say enough good things about the curbside check-in.  Really, I might just take advantage of it from now on.  It’s worth it to me to not have to stand in line!

Got any good air travel tips you’d like to pass on?  Share them in the comments!

Nativity

I think it was probably four or five days before Christmas in 2006.  Ben and I had had a pretty rough year: things were tight financially, Ben wasn’t having much success in the job department, and I’d lost two grandparents over the summer and was having trouble coping.

When I say “things were tight financially,” what I actually mean is that we had no money.  We’d used all of our savings when we moved to Texas a year and a half previously, and I had encouraged Ben to stay home and work on growing his business rather than go out and find a regular 9-to-5.  As a result, we were trying to live on my meager teaching salary supplemented with some odd construction jobs Ben did here and there.  One of my favorite parts of the Christmas season is picking out a tree, but that year, we couldn’t afford one.  The mood around our house was anything but festive.  I’m not going to mince words here: it sucked.

Then we had a red-letter day.  I don’t remember why, but I went to work late on the morning of December 19.  For some reason, we’d gone to Lowe’s and seen that all of their Christmas trees were on clearance.  For $5.  We picked out a grand tree.  Who knows, maybe in reality, it was actually quite Charlie Brownish, but I remember it as the most beautiful tree I’d ever laid eyes on.  I think it came in at just under 12 feet tall.  Ben worked on the lights while I was at work, and by the time I got home, it was a tall, shimmering, glowy wonder of a tree.

In the middle of my 7th period U.S. History class – sometime around noon – my brother called me to tell me that my nephew had just been born.  My students awwwwed over the news with me.

I was visiting the new parents in the hospital later that afternoon when my phone rang.  It was Ben calling to tell me Washington Mutual – who’d turned him down several weeks prior – had just offered him a job.  And not just any job: a position in their exclusive management training program.  (It turned out he was one of just 16 chosen in the entire state of Texas.  Yeah, I’m still pretty proud of him.)

I remember crying on the drive home because I was so overwhelmed with the goodness – and, quite frankly, the miraculousness – of the day, and I couldn’t find any other way to process it.

Anyway, I think it was the next night that the nativity started to show up.

We opened our front door that evening to find a gift bag sitting on the doorstep.  In it were a couple of shepherd figurines and a note with the first lines of the Gospel of Luke’s account of the birth of Christ; specifically, the lines pertaining to the shepherds.

The next night, an angel appeared wrapped in tissue paper, accompanied by the next part of the Christmas story – the part where the angel appears to the shepherds.

This continued for two or three more nights until finally, on Christmas Eve, we found a package containing the figures of Joseph, Mary, and Jesus, again with the corresponding Bible verses attached.  Having received these pieces, we found ourselves in possession of a complete – and completely gorgeous – nativity set.

We have absolutely no idea who it came from.

And I’m glad we don’t.  The thing is, every year, I pull out this nativity and I’m reminded of that very difficult time, of the faith that sustained us when we had nothing else, and of the day that everything changed.  Every Christmas, I look at these figures and remember that all things work together for my good.

Not some things.  Not most things.  ALL things.

Even my grandparents’ deaths.
Even my parents’ divorce.
Even the loss of a child.

All things.

At the top of our Christmas tree this year was an ornament that I purchased for that tree in 2006.  It says, simply, “Hope.”

Ultimately, that’s what I feel every time I look at our nativity.  If the person who gave it to us reads this, I want you to know how thankful I am to have it, not just because it’s lovely to look at, but because of the lesson that it’s helped me learn.  Am I curious as to your identity?  Yes, of course.  But I think that if I focused on figuring out who you are, I’d end up missing the whole point:

Hope.  The point is hope.